The Fanfic Side
by Rachel M. (Scardno007@aol.com)

Whoa! Watch where you're throwing that china! Okay, so there are psycho elves in the house. This is fine. I'm perfectly fine with this situation....so long as they don't bring in their giraffe. That would cause a problem. Okay, so I'm the psycho one....forget I said anything. Here's a great one called "Soapdish" from Molly herself!
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"Soapdish"
By: Molly (MPSL27@aol.com)
Rated: G
Submitted: Oct. 3, 1998
Author's Note: I wrote this fanfic in the summer of 1996. I guess you could say it was one of my first fanfics...I hope you like it!

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"ClarkClarkClarkClarkClark!" Lois squealed, tearing through their apartment like a child who has had six cups of pure sugar and has opened their presents on Christmas morning and has discovered that they did, in fact, recieve the $200 video game system they've been asking and begging for for six whole weeks.

Clark had been enjoying a little peace away from the cries of distress and his duty as Superman by lounging on the couch with a grape soda and a Bestseller paperback.

"Lois, what is it?" Clark said, jumping up from the couch as Lois ran into the room and began jumping up and down with happiness.

"Clark, guess what! I just talked to Doug Alberts. Remember, the guy who was accused of murder and we helped clear his name? Well, he just happens to work at Mount-Star Studios and we now have tickets to visit the set of my favorite soap opera, 'As We Live and Learn'. Isn't this exciting?"

"I didn't know you watched 'As We Live and Learn', Lois."

"Actually, I've only seen it about twice. But get this, you can call this 1-800 number and get daily summaries of all the soaps. I've been doing that lately."

"Ah."

"Anyway, Doug says we'll get to meet some of the stars of the show. I can't wait! We're not busy next Saturday by any chance, are we?"

"No, I'm pretty sure we're free. But, Lois, I've never even seen 'As We Live and Learn'. I'm more of a leaner towards 'All My Children'. He was obviously joking, and grinned.

"Oh, that's okay. You'll love it. Doesn't that sound fun?"

"Hey, you'll be there. I wouldn't miss it," Clark said sincerely.

Lois smiled. "Thanks, Clark! Oh, I can't wait. We might even get to meet *Joey Tribiani*!"

"Who?"

"Joey Tribiani. He's this hot new actor who's just shown up on the scene of 'As We Live and Learn'. He used to play Dr. Drake Ramoray on 'Days of Our Lives', until they killed off his character on the show. Now he plays Antonio, Hillary's brother, on 'As We Live and Learn.' And, according to the 1-800 number summaries, he's not only been dating Lisa, Ashley, *and* Meghan, but he just set fire to the Eastriver Manor."

Clark laughed. "Boy, you're really into this, aren't you?"

"Well, I..." she paused when she saw Clark make that familiar face.

"Cry for help?"

"Fire at the post office," Clark said with an embarassed shrug.

"Go," Lois said. "I'll start dinner."

"Thanks," Clark said, giving her a quick kiss before changing into his suit and flying out the window.

Later that evening, Lois and Clark were sitting together on the couch, watching television, when the phone rang.

Clark answered the phone and was on there for ten minutes. When he hung up, Lois pounced on him. "Who was that?"

"My mother," Clark said with a sly grin. "She wanted to know how we're doing, and if we want to have dinner there on Friday night."

"I hope you said 'yes'!"

"I said 'maybe', because Perry might have us work late finishing up the piece on Bill Church Sr.'s court hearing."

"Oh, right."

"But we'll know by tomorrow for sure, so I'll call Mom back then and let her know for sure."

*****

"Lois, Clark! It's wonderful to see you!" Martha Kent exclaimed, embracing her son and daugher-in-law in a hug.

"Hi, Mom," Clark said warmly.

"Dinner smells great," Lois added.

"It's almost ready. Lois, why don't you go ahead and sit down. Clark, will you tell your father dinner is ready? I think he's in the barn."

"Sure, Mom," Clark said, and went to find Jonathan.

After dinner, the family sat in the living room, discussing what had been going on in their lives lately. Martha was eager to announce that she had enrolled in a summer pottery class and would start taking the classes on Monday. She then announced that Rachel Harris, aka Sheriff Harris, was engaged to be married to a contruction worker from Kansas City.

It still amazed Lois that Martha could know so much about the town happenings and everyone in the town. That was, of course, one of the things that came with living in such a small town. And Martha was friends with just about everybody.

Afterwards, Lois told Martha and Jonathan about their visit to the set of 'As We Live and Learn', which was set to take place the next day.

"Oh, I just love that soap opera!" Martha said, astonished that Lois watched it, too.

"Really? Well, I don't watch it, exactly, but I do read and listen to the summaries."

"I have some of the more recent episodes on tape," Martha said. "You can borrow the tape if you want."

"Really? Thanks, Martha, I would love that. You know, I should start taping the episodes when I'm at work and watch them when I have time..."

Jonathan and Clark looked at each other. They didn't have to say it, they were both thinking the same thought. "Uh-oh."

The next day, Lois had trouble deciding what to wear. "I want to look great, just in case I get to meet Joey Tribiani or another one of the stars!"

"Lois, you look great no matter what you wear," Clark said sincerely. "I don't think you have to get all dressed up either."

"But everyone in the soap wears fancy, glittery outfits. Well, not the guys. They wear tuxedos. But, sometimes they wear slacks with matching sweaters. And the women wear..."

"How about your white pants outfit?" Clark, who was already dressed and ready to go, suggested.

"Okay," Lois agreed, still unsure of herself.

An hour later, Clark and Lois arrived on the set of 'As We Live and Learn'. Lois could barely keep from bursting with excitement as they entered the main gate and showed their passes to the guard. A few minutes later, they were greeted by Doug Alberts himself. He would be giving them the tour, he explained, and led them throught two more gates with guards, before they finally entered the actual studio.

"There he is! There he is!" Lois whispered frantically to Clark, as she spotted a rather attractive young man standing near a Coke machine.

"Who?"

"Joey Tribiani!" she hissed. She turned to Doug. "Can we meet him?" she asked hopefully.

"Hey, Joe!" Doug called. The young man standing near the Coke machine looked up and grinned.

"Hey, Doug!" Joey said, walking over to them. "How's it going?"

"Great! Joey, I'd like you to meet Lois Lane and Clark Kent."

Each took turns shaking Joey's hand. When it was Lois turn, she said, "I'm a big fan! I think you're a terrific actor, Mr. Tribiani."

"Hey, thanks!" he said with a grin. Suddenly he turned what appeared to be serious. "You want my autograph?" he asked, almost hopefully.

"Yes!" Lois cried without thinking.

Joey grinned happily and nodded. "Okay." He took out a photo and scrawled his name across the photo.

"I just love the show," Lois added. "Thanks for the autograph!"

"Sure, anytime! Thanks for stopping by!" Joey called as Doug Alberts moved Lois and Clark on.

"He really *is* a good actor," Lois whispered to Clark. "He's so friendly in real life, while on the show, he's an evil two-timing phychopath."

"Maybe that's who he really is," Clark teased. "And he was just *acting* friendly."

Lois gave him a Look. Then, suddenly she cried. "Look, there's Hillary Arden, who plays Ashley!"

"Sorry," Doug said. "But she hates visitors and she especially hates fans. You don't want to talk to her."

"But, on the show, she's so sweet an shy!" Lois said, with a perplexed look on her face.

"That's showbiz for you! Expect the unexpected."

"Where to next?" Clark asked, getting caught up in the excitement.

"Well," said Doug. "I'm afraid you won't get to see much today. No special effects, no bombs or avalanches. But don't worry, we'll get to see Meghan push Tiffany off a cliff. They're going to be filming that scene today."

Clark's eyes widened, but Lois was obviously impressed. "That's an important event!" she cried. "And we'll get to see it! Oh, will Tiffany survive? Will Meghan go to jail?"

Doug shrugged. "It's up to the writers," he said. "I have no idea what's going to happen." He was about to lead Lois and Clark into another room, when Lois suddenly cried out, "There's Ryanna Bernstein!"

"Who?" Doug and Clark said at the same time.