The Obsession Connection

Hi, my faithful co-obsessers. Today a story comes to us from the little town of Greshland, Oregon (Gresham...Portland...whatever). A FOLC, not unlike ourselves, was eagerly awaiting the arrival of the mailman, who was...again...late.

"I wonder why he's late this time?" she wondered. "Stuck in traffic? Flat tire? Collision with the icecream truck? Oh wait...it's November...nevermind. Then again, this is Greshland...anything's possible."

This young FOLC decided to read the daily newspaper, but she was disturbed not ten minutes later by a thump on the front porch. She opened the door and...there was a package! Yay! She brought the package inside..."Oh boy, Looney Tunes wrapping paper," she said.

This FOLC then went outside to the mailbox to retrieve the remaining mail. "Oh yesss! My TV Guide came! It's about time," she said, shuffling through the mail box. She grabbed the pile of envelopes and brochures and brought them in the house. "Oh, a letter from Ed McMahon! I may already have won ten million dollars...oh goody, I'm pre-approved for a credit card...Have You Seen This Missing Child? No I haven't," the FOLC mumbled to herself. Finally, she got to the last piece of mail. It was oddly yellow. She turned it over.

"Aaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!"

Two days later.....

Garbage Collector #1: "Look, Harry. It's another one of those ABC network store catalogs. Looks like this one's been mutilated."

Garbage Collector #2: "*Burned* is more like it...look at the edges."

Garbage Collector #1: "What are these scratch marks?"

Garbage Collector #2: (Shakes his head sadly) "Looks like a chainsaw got to this one."

Garbage Collector #1: "It's a shame, isn't it?"

Garbage Collector #2: "What? That ABC is crazy enough to think anyone would buy their stuff?"

Garbage Collector #1: "That...and all those poor trees that had to be cut down...to make all these freakin' catalogs that no one is gonna read."

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Okay, okay, so parts of this story may or may not be fictional. The moral of this story is this: if you get a catalog in the mail, do not read it! Destroy it immediately!

LOL, okay, perhaps you think that I am, once again, overreacting. That my bitter anger over ABC's refusal to promote L&C during its last season has grown to crazy proportions and is getting out of hand. Tell me then...why didn't ABC have a catalog when L&C was still on the air? Hmmm? But enough about that, and on to more important things...like fun things. Like Lois & Clark! Like...."The Prankster".

This episode has always amused me. I mean, here's Kyle Griffin, recently let out of prison after 5 years in the Big House. Who got him thrown in there? Our own Miss Lois Lane, during one of her investigative reports. And Kyle's been sitting there in prison for five whole years, plotting revenge the entire time. When he finally gets out, he somehow finds Victor. Victor. Now *there's* a whole 'nother story you really ought to hear (hehe...but not today...). So anyway, Kyle and Victor are making this annihilating weapon so they can sell it to terrorists (er, "freedom fighters"), but Kyle needs parts for the weapon. So while he goes about his elaborate schemes to collect a diamond and some computer chips, he somehow manages to involve Lois in his messes...just his little way of paying her back for getitng him sent to prison. First, he starts sending her gifts with little notes that say "from your secret admirer"...

Naturally, everyone looks at none other than Clark Kent. Clark: "Hey, don't look at me! I may be from Kansas, but I am NOT that corny!" OK, if it isn't Clark, then just who is Lois's secret admirer? Lois admits that she can't think of anyone who likes her enough to send her...uh, whoops! ;-) Anywayyyy...then, suddenly, she gets an idea. She remembers a guy named Randall Loomis, that she went to college with--a guy who had once sent her a note, signed "from your secret admirer". Lois is convinced Randall is behind the first few gifts/notes, so she decides to pay him a visit. Well, it turns out Randall definitely did not write those notes...not only is he married to a very beautiful woman, but he seems happy...he's sold his software company and retired. He asks what Lois has been up to, and she lies and says she's a "senior journalist"...a remark that Clark teases her about throughout the rest of the episode.

Cute quotes and moments

"You've been watching too many Flintstones cartoons!"--Lois
"Nuts...in a good way?"--Lois
Lois with her pig and shark potholders! ROFL!

But one of my favorite parts in the episode occurs after Lois finds out that Kyle is behind her gifts and the pranks. Kyle calls her, and freaks her out, so she heads over to Clark's with a pizza, sodas, and all 3 Lethal Weaon movies. Naturally, she doesn't come right out and say why she's really there, but Clark goes along with it until Lois finally admits that she's freaked because Kyle called her...and threatened to kill her.
Lois: "Clark...I don't want to die!"
Clark: "Lois...I would not let that happen."
Awwww, can you say "Warm and Fuzzy"? Well, then Lois falls asleep on Clark's shoulder and it's totally cute.

However, later in this episode, there is something that is quite strange. Maybe "strange" isn't the right word...

BARBIE'S BROTHER HAS A CAMEO!

Yes, Barbie. As in the doll. As in her brother. I have seen this doll in the stores, his name is Todd. And he's in this episode. Remember when Lois and Clark are at Kyle's father's toy store and he shows them the skeleton phone...and then the tennis courts made of that special red clay? There are two Todd dolls playing tennis. Now how weird is that?

Uh....how do I know that it is Barbie's brother? Um, you just nevermind that. I noticed Todd the other day when I was watching the episode for the seven thousandth time. You know, I used to have a Todd doll, but you didn't just hear that. His arm got ripped off. Tragic.

And so, I leave you with all thoughts of things obsessive and if you would ever like to contribute to this column, please e-mail me at LoveLC@aol.com!

FOLCs Forever!