The Obsession Connection
by Molly

I could write a novel. One of those long novels that kids have to read in sixth grade, and do a book report on. You know, the "Summer Where The Red Fern That Eats Old Yeller Grows in Brooklyn" kind of book. Only my novel will be titled, "Searching for Dean". No, make that, "Searching for Perfection: Dean".

Okay, so he's not perfect, but he's dang cute and I want to write about him. Which may be why I have all this fanfic on my harddrive. Well, anyway, let me start from the beginning. It all started today, at 4pm. The place? Blockbuster Video.

* * * * * *
I surveyed the place. Blockbuster. What a name. It's located at the corner of a busy intersection. It's rush hour. And I've just walked half a block. Blockbuster has no chairs. Blockbuster just has videos. Lots of videos. It's my kind of place.

I enter the store. After I pull the door instead of push, and then hit my head, I finally step inside and begin to make my way around the entire store, pausing at the new releases and taking it all in.

My Dean Tracker is picking up a signal! Beep! Beep! Beep! A couple of the other customers give me weird looks. Hey, I can't help the beeping. Mind your own business, store people. I'm on a mission.

The display is small. There are two copies in stock. It is "Tracked". I've seen the movie, and I must say it is violent. But Dean's in it, so who cares? Yeah. My Dean Tracker is going crazy now. It starts to smoke. I quickly turn a few knobs and it quiets down. GOOD, Dean Tracker. Good boy. Sit, stay.

I move away from "Tracked" and walk towards the middle of the store. The Dean Tracker starts to beep again. Oh look, it's "Best Men"! I count the change in my pocket. Yes, just enough money. I walk over to the counter. I hand my membership card to the girl. She stares at it.

Like...can I help it if I have a laminated card that can't be any younger than me? It's my mom's, go figure. The store girl gives me new cards. And coupons. Then she hands me Dean. "What's that thing you're wearing?" she asks.

"Oh, this old thing? It's my Dean Tracker."

"Dean? Dean who?"

I hit the store girl over the head with a foam bat. I mean, can you be any more dense? "Dean who!? Dean WHO!? Dean Cain, store girl. You are bordering on annoying. If you don't know who Dean is, you have no business working at this video store."

I drag the store girl behind the counter and steal her nametag. I put the name tag on. Now I'm "Kimberley". A few customers come in and want to rent videos. I stare at the computer before me, shrug my shoulders, and admit that I don't know the first thing about renting their videos, so they might as well just pay me and take them.

They do so, and as they are leaving the store, a deafening alarm goes off! Oops, I guess people aren't supposed to go through that little stolen tape detector with tapes in their arms. I fumble around for some way to turn the alarm off, but I can't find anything, so I flee the store.

On my way out, I realized I've left "Best Men" behind, so I run back in to the store. Just then, the cops arrive. I run out of the store, and they start to chase me. Suddenly I turn around, and hold up a badge. "Stay back!" I yell. "I'm with the Dean Tracking Agency."

The cops bow and apologize. "We're sorry, Ma'am," they say. "We didn't know."

"Just don't let it happen again," I say, as I push a few buttons on my Dean Tracker and head for home.

In my line of duty, these things happen to me all the time. It's a dangerous job...but somebody's got to do it.